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CKWatt's avatar

I think the biggest reason why essays became the de facto test in college is because grading an essay is entirely subjective, while an actual test (scantron, math or physics problems to solve, etc.) are objective. Essays can be gamed and allow shitty teachers to inflate grades and pick favorites.

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btfine's avatar

Chat GPT, write a short essay about a gatorade ad in the style of ethan strauss:

"Gatorade’s Gospel of Sweat: A Cultural Critique in the Style of Ethan Strauss

Gatorade’s latest ad doesn’t sell a drink. It sells a mythology. In a 60-second montage of slow-motion agony and triumphant sweat, Gatorade repackages the American sports ethos in high-definition. The product—a neon-colored sports drink originally designed to prevent Florida Gators from keeling over—hardly gets more than a few seconds of screentime. But that’s the point. Gatorade’s ad isn’t about hydration; it’s about identity.

This is where the brand’s genius lies, and where the critique begins. Much like Nike, Gatorade has graduated from utility to ideology. The athletes featured—names and faces you know even if you don’t watch the sport—grit their teeth, push through injury, and collapse into victory. The implicit message: greatness isn’t just earned, it’s suffered for. Gatorade positions itself not as the cause of that greatness, but as its silent witness. A totem. A relic on the sidelines that affirms the pain was real and the effort mattered.

It’s all very clever, but it’s also a bit of a con. Because when we talk about Gatorade, we’re no longer talking about what’s in the bottle. We’re talking about vibes. Electrolytes become secondary to aesthetic. And just like that, Gatorade escapes accountability—not just nutritional, but cultural. Nobody asks whether the sugar content contradicts the high-performance image. Nobody questions why an industrial beverage is dressed in the robes of ancient virtue. It’s not a drink. It’s a sermon.

In the style of a Silicon Valley founder peddling disruption, Gatorade doesn’t just market a product—it markets a worldview. The ad says: You are what you endure. And we’ll be there, in the background, canonizing your grind with a splash of lemon-lime."

yeah, looks like your job is still safe!

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